Crazy
by Wolf of Summer
Summary: Suzaku hits his head really hard after Arthur trips him and Lelouch is left to take care of him until he recovers. Suzaku goes a bit...crazy. (CRACK. Not meant to be serious.)


**Decided to try writing crack. Enjoy!**

**I don't own Code Geass. (I **_**wish**_**)**

oOo

"There's something wrong with Suzaku."

Lelouch looked up to where Suzaku was lying on his back underneath a desk, absently drawing shapes in the air with one finger. He turned to Milly. "What gave you that idea?"

"Well, what did you do to him?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Nothing. He somehow managed to trip over Arthur last night and hit his head really, really hard on the doorknob. I took him to the nurse. She said it should wear off in a week or so but until then to keep an eye on him." He returned to his student council work.

"Has he been like that all day?" Milly crouched to look at Suzaku, who'd graduated to making plane sounds and was waving his hand around like a jet.

"He's actually really tame right now. This morning he was attempting to bribe a freshman with Skittles to go buy him a hamster. Then he somehow got ahold of a sheet of bubble wrap and sat popping it, giggling every three seconds."

"And you're not…disturbed?"

"As long as he doesn't try to do anything stupid." Lelouch said, turning a page and writing something down.

"You mean like drawing on the window with a marker?"

"Yeah—wait." Lelouch looked up. "NO, Suzaku!"

Suzaku flinched guiltily and dropped the marker, turning to peer at Lelouch and looking like a kicked puppy. "I was just going to draw a Knightmare."

"You can draw one on a piece of paper."

"But that's _boring,_" whined Suzaku. "I'm gonna go check the bushes outside for goblins."

"Wait—" Lelouch began, but Suzaku had already dashed out the door, kicking one shoe off and grabbing his bag in the process. "Ugh. Milly, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have fun with soldier boy." She winked at him, laughing as Lelouch ran out after his athletic friend. She could hear Lelouch scolding Suzaku through the open window.

oOo

When he'd finally, finally managed to drag Suzaku back to his room (after apologizing to the bald man whose head Suzaku had tried to draw on, confiscating the rest of Suzaku's markers, and grabbing his wayward friend by the ear before he could run off again), Lelouch took a look at the refrigerator. And groaned.

"What's wrong, Lelouch?" Suzaku poked his head into the kitchen, hair already inexplicably tangled with a few feathers.

"What did you do—you know what, I don't even want to know." Lelouch glanced pleadingly back at the fridge, as if begging it to produce some food. No such luck. "We have to take a quick trip to the store."

"Why can't Sayoko do it?"

"She's watching Nunnally while she sleeps over her friend's house." Lelouch glanced at his watch. "Alright. Can I trust you to sit here and not do anything for twenty minutes while I'm gone?"

"Yes." Suzaku blinked, and then flinched as a feather from his hair floated down in front of him. He grabbed it and stared at it before very slowly moving it towards his open mouth.

"Right, you're coming with me." Lelouch yanked the feather from his friend's hand and dragged him back out of the apartment.

oOo

Lelouch was really regretting bringing Suzaku with him. They'd taken a cab to a nearby supermarket, and the first thing Suzaku did was leap on one of the kiddie rides in front of the store. "Lelouch, do you have any coins?" People were staring at him.

In the store, Lelouch got a carriage and made Suzaku promise not to let go of the side of it. He turned to examine a bunch of asparagus. When he turned back, Suzaku had disappeared. Lelouch gave an exasperated groan before placing the veggies in the cart and setting off to look for him.

Angry yelling started up two aisles down. Lelouch made a beeline for it and almost crashed into Suzaku, who came dashing out of the aisle with his arms full of boxes of donuts and donut holes. "Lelouch!" He yelled. "Someone was trying to murder these little cakes! We need some Band-Aids!"

"What? Why?"

Suzaku dropped the boxes into the cart. "So we can fix them!"

"Suzaku, you can't put donut holes back in donuts. They're supposed to be like that."

Suzaku looked horrified.

"Go put them back." Lelouch said, nudging him with a foot just as an angry employee rounded the corner. Lelouch held a hand up before the man could say anything. Suzaku ran off with the boxes.

"I apologize for the way my friend's been acting. He's a bit sick in the head for some reason and he promises to go put everything back."

The man glared at Lelouch before stalking away. Suzaku, who'd returned, started to follow the employee, but Lelouch grabbed him by the wrist before he could go anywhere.

"No. You're going to stay _right next to me_ while I buy us food for dinner. Understand?"

Eyes wide, Suzaku nodded.

"I _will_ handcuff you to me if you try to run away again, and don't _even_ ask where I'd get the handcuffs."

Suzaku whimpered a little.

When they finally made it out of the food store, Lelouch got home to realize that the reason for the feathers earlier was that apparently Suzaku had thought it a good idea to tease Arthur with a pillow. The cat was still savaging the thing.

Lelouch pinched the bridge of his nose. "Wonderful. Suzaku, sit on the couch and _don't move or touch anything_ while I make dinner."

"What about—"

"No. _DON'T. MOVE."_ Lelouch turned to the kitchen to start dinner. A minute later he peeked out the door to see how Suzaku was doing only to see that his face was steadily turning purple. He dropped the bowl he'd been holding to the floor and rushed out to kneel in front of his determined looking friend. Suzaku was holding his lips together, refusing himself any air.

"Suzaku, what are you—BREATHE! BREATHE!" The brunette sucked in a lungful of air, gasping. "What the heck was that for?!"

"You said not to move."

"Jeez…Suzaku, I meant from the couch." Lelouch tapped his chest lightly as his heart beat quickly. "Here…just watch TV or something." He flipped it on and flung the remote at Suzaku. He caught it and stared at it for a second.

"Hey Lelouch…Have you ever thought that a remote is kinda like a magic wand?"

"Uh…I guess."

Suzaku whipped it up so it was pointed at Lelouch's head. "Abracadabra!"

"Huh?"

"I turned you into a rabbit. Now, go hop back to the kitchen and finish dinner." Suzaku settled on the couch and stared at the TV, looking very pleased with himself.

Lelouch stared at him for a moment before shrugging and heading back to the kitchen.

"You're not hopping!"

Lelouch sighed. He wondered how much more of Suzaku's shenanigans he would be able to handle.

oOo

"I did WHAT?!" Suzaku gasped, looking guiltily at Lelouch, who was holding an ice pack to his head, and Sayoko who was scrubbing magic marker off of the walls. Nunnally sat across the table, quietly folding cranes.

"I said, after everything this past week, you finally fixed yourself by making a rope out of your bed sheets, jumping from the window while screaming _'you can't keep me trapped in this tower like a princess any longer!'_ and running headfirst into a lamppost. That apparently fixed your head…or something."

"Gosh Lelouch, Sayoko, Nunnally, I'm so sorry! If there's anything I can do—"

Lelouch held up a hand, stopping him. "Just…never do it again."

"Promise. Well, I better go catch up on my homework." Suzaku jumped up, taking one step forward before Arthur twined between his legs and he fell, cracking his head on the table.

"Ah! Suzaku, are you okay?" Lelouch leapt to his feet while Sayoko helped the dizzy-looking boy up.

"Okay? Why wouldn't I be? Hey, Lelouch, why is the floor made of snow?"

"It's not..." Lelouch looked up and caught sight of the recently so familiar faraway look in Suzaku's eyes.

"_OHGODNO._"

oOo

***Chuckles* Poor Lulu. **

**Well. Please Review! :D**


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